Navajo Humor

 

Interesting story from a Navajo.

About 1966 or so, a NASA team doing work for the Apollo moon mission took the astronauts near Tuba City. There the terrain of the Navajo Reservation looks very much like the lunar surface. Among all the trucks and large vehicles were two large figures that were dressed in full lunar spacesuits. Nearby a Navajo sheep herder and his son were watching the strange creatures walk about, occasionally being tended by other NASA personnel. The two Navajo people were noticed and approached by the NASA personnel. Since the man did not know English, his son asked for him who the strange creatures were. The NASA people told them that they were just men that were getting ready to go to the moon. The man became very excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts. The NASA personnel thought this was a great idea so they rustled up a tape recorder. After the man gave them his message, they asked his son to translate. His son would not. Later, they tried a few more people on the reservation to translate and every person they asked would chuckle and then refuse to translate. Finally, with cash in hand someone translated the message, "Watch out for these guys, they come to take your land."

 

Nava......

Nava-aoo' - A Navajo who always agrees with everyone. Nothing gets resolved.

Nava-foe - A Navajo who always disagrees. Nothing gets resolved

Nava-whoa - An overzealous Navajo

"Nava-yo!" - Greetings of the new generation.

Nava-Know - A Navajo Ph.D.

Isn't "Nava-joe" a male Dine who plays all day in the cornfield and wishes for a new pickup truck?

"Nava-Ho", a female Dine floozie who hangs out at Shalimar?

"Nava-bo", a young Dine boy

"Nava-co", a business owned by a Dine

"Nava-do", a greasy matted sheepherder hair cut

"Nava-go", a Dine on the run from John Law

"Nava-moe", a third member of a funny Dine threesome

"Nava-Smo", generic term for a ordinary Dine hitch hiking along the road

Submitted by Bernadette Tsosie

 

Hiding From the White Man

A Navajo, Hopi, and a Zuni are out scouting. Then they see a white man. So they all hop into a tree. While the white man walks by, he hears a twig fall. The Hopi guy trying to cover it up, says," Coo..Coo.." like a hawk. So the white guy walks around a little bit more thinking it was a crow, and hears another twig fall. This time the Zuni Guy says,"Kaa...Kaa..." like a crow. So the white guy walks around again thinking,"oh, it just a crow." Then the 3rd time he hears another twig fall from the tree. So the Navajo guy says,"Baaa..Baaa..." like a sheep.

Submitted by Stefanie Jansen

 

Underwear

An older sheepherder man entered a very large department store and appeared to be looking for something in the men's department. A saleslady approached him and asked, "May I help you sir?" The man replied (with a heavy native accent), "You got any underwear?" She replied, "Yes, right over here. They come in single or three or six in a pack." He answered, "You got any 12 pack?" She looked at him puzzled and she asked, "twelve?" He responded, "Yeah, you know, January, February..."

 

Dr. Suess Goes Rezzy - Powdered Eggs and Spam

I do not like Powdered eggs and Spam
I do not like them Begaye I say, aye!
I do not like them in Window Rock,
I do not like them in Rough Rock.
I do not like them in a teepee,
I do not like them when I am sleepy.
I do not like them with sagebrush,
I will not eat them with blue corn mush.
I do not like powdered eggs and Spam
I do not like them Begaye I say, aye!

I do not like them at the trading post,
I do not like them with burnt toast.
I do not like them with fry bread,
I will not eat them with a Chizi hand
I do not like them at boarding School,
I will not eat them with Chili corn stew.
I do not like powdered eggs and Spam
I do not like them Begaye I say, aye!

I will not eat them with Ellis Tanner,
I will not eat them at McKinley Manor.
I do not like them in a rez rocket,
I will not stick them in a light socket.
I will not eat them in the chapter house,
I will not eat them in the outhouse.
I do not like powdered eggs and Spam
I do not like them Begaye I say, aye!

I do not like them in Bashes,
I will not eat them when I have rashes.
I will not eat them in Naschitti,
I will not eat them in my chitty
I will not eat them on my billy goat,
I will not eat them with my Shasta coke.
I do not like powdered eggs and Spam
I do not like them Begaye I say, aye!

I will not eat them with my bow and arrow,
I will not eat them with a sparrow.
I will not eat them in a trailer,
I will not eat them with my brudder, the sailor.
I will not eat them with the sheep in the jeep that goes, BEEP BEEP!!!!
I do not like powdered eggs and Spam
I do not like them Begaye I say
Sha, wa, oh I mean  aye!!

Courtesy Ray J., Kirtland, New Mexico
Submitted by Bernadette Tsosie

 

Twelve Days (plus one) of a Navajo Keshmish

Kaaaaaaay-efffff-Ceeeee = KFC= Kentucky Fried Chicken

On the first day of Keshmish Shi'heart gave to me

a.. a ride in his pick-em up truck

On the second day of Keshmish Shi'heart gave to me

a.. two fry breads; and
b.. a ride in his pick-em up truck

On the third day of Keshmish Shi'heart gave to me

a.. three pounds of mutton
b.. two fry breads; and
c.. a ride in his pick-em up truck

On the fourth day of Keshmish Shi'heart gave to me

a.. four Big-O tires
b.. three pounds of mutton
c.. two fry breads; and
d.. a ride in his pick-em up truck

On the fifth day of Keshmish Shi'heart gave to me

a.. Kaaaaaaay-efffff-Ceeeee
b.. four Big-O tires
c.. three pounds of mutton
d.. two fry breads; and
e.. a ride in his pick-em up truck

On the sixth day of Keshmish Shi'heart gave to me

a.. six pounds of coffee
b.. Kaaaaaaay-efffff-Ceeeee
c.. four Big-O tires
d.. three pounds of mutton
e.. two fry breads; and
f.. a ride in his pick-em up truck

On the seventh day of Keshmish Shi'heart gave to me

a.. seven cans of Spam
b.. six pounds of coffee
c.. Kaaaaaaay-efffff-Ceeeee
d.. four Big-O tires
e.. three pounds of mutton=20
f.. two fry breads; and
g.. a ride in his pick-em up truck

On the eighth day of Keshmish Shi'heart gave to me

a.. eight shiny jewelries
b.. seven cans of Spam
c.. six pounds of coffee
d.. Kaaaaaaay-efffff-Ceeeee
e.. four Big-O tires
f.. three pounds of mutton
g.. two fry breads; and
h.. a ride in his pick-em up truck

On the ninth day of Keshmish Shi'heart gave to me

a.. nine Kmart T-shirts
b.. eight shiny jewelries
c.. seven cans of Spam
d.. six pounds of coffee
e.. Kaaaaaaay-efffff-Ceeeee
f.. four Big-O tires
g.. three pounds of mutton
h.. two fry breads; and
i.. a ride in his pick-em up truck

On the tenth day of Keshmish Shi'heart gave to me

a.. ten pawn tickets
b.. nine Kmart T-shirts
c.. eight shiny jewelries
d.. seven cans of Spam
e.. six pounds of coffee
f.. Kaaaaaaay-efffff-Ceeeee
g.. four Big-O tires
h.. three pounds of mutton
i.. two fry breads; and
j.. a ride in his pick-em up truck

On the eleventh day of Keshmish Shi'heart gave to me

a.. eleven bales of hay
b.. ten pawn tickets
c.. nine Kmart T-shirts
d.. eight shiny jewelries
e.. seven cans of Spam
f.. six pounds of coffee
g.. Kaaaaaaay-efffff-Ceeeee
h.. four Big-O tires
i.. three pounds of mutton
j.. two fry breads; and
k.. a ride in his pick-em up truck

On the twelfth day of Keshmish Shi'heart gave to me

a.. twelve cords of woods
b.. eleven bales of hay
c.. ten pawn tickets
d.. nine Kmart T-shirts
e.. eight shiny jewelries
f.. seven cans of Spam
g.. six pounds of coffee
h.. Kaaaaaaay-efffff-Ceeeee
i.. four Big-O tires
j.. three pounds of mutton
k.. two fry breads; and
l.. a ride in his pick-em up truck

On the thirteenth day of Keshmish my Councilman came to me.

a.. asked for all the coffee
b.. borrowed all my wood
c.. cooked up all my mutton
d.. burned up all my tires
e.. ate up all my chicken; and
f.. handed out my T-shirts,
g.. at a Basketball tour-er-ney
h.. Gave my hay to "constituents"
i.. Pawned all my jewelries
j.. Ate my Spam and Fry bread
k.. Then took Shi'heart to Rodeo
l.. And left me without a dollar for a ride.

 

Back to Program Topics